Fancy Footwear

I’m a long-term member of the Klutz Klub.

I stub my toes, I cut, prick, mash and burn my fingers, bang my elbows, smack hard objects with outlying parts of my anatomy, and if there’s a head-level item within cooee, I’ll hit my head on it. Show me an innocuous obstacle and I’ll find a way to trip over it. It’s not usually enough to cause serious or lasting damage, but I can proudly boast an unusual number of small scars, I’ve broken most of my toes and several of my fingers, and it’s really just as well I have a hard head.

So, well, the sensation of breaking bones is not new. Everyone knows what it’s like to stub a toe, but to that you add an additional sharp spike of pain, enough to make you nauseous. Yup, that’s a break. This time, it’s my right 5th/pinkie/little toe. Toe meets bedside table at 3am on trip to the bathroom. Toe bends outwards at angle not intended by nature, with some force. Time for a visit to my friends in the X-ray department, followed by 10 days in The Boot.

Stylish, isn’t it? And so lovely to be obliged to wear it in the heat and humidity of the Queensland summer. But with the toe strapped firmly to the one next door and this thinly disguised plank strapped firmly to my foot, I’m actually out of pain for the first time in many hours. Oh, and the tasty pain relief helps too.

With any luck, I might be allowed to take it off just in time to go on holiday…