If you’re not for us, you’re against us…

I’ve discovered something today which has caused me quite a lot of pain. It is not excessive to say that it caused some tears.

You’ll recall that I wrote a post on the topic of subjective value in quilting, saying that I prefer doing it now for love instead of money, trying not to attach ‘value’ to my work based on how long it took and how much the materials cost, but instead on how much I enjoyed doing it. I was amazed at the strength of reaction it provoked, both pro and con, because I wasn’t tub-thumping or getting on any soapboxes to preach my point, merely making an observation. I respect the position of those who demand a fair price for the work they sell, and I have been clear about this, but I do also expect that respect to be reciprocated for my opinions.

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 4.53.22 pm

Different opinions not allowed

What I was stunned to discover today was that someone has hijacked chunks of my post into a blog of her own without asking, and has seen fit to slant and emphasise points out of the original context to support an attack against me personally and others who do not charge ‘correctly’ for their quilting work. This person did not respond directly to my post, as would have been appropriate, but has seen fit to criticise me on her own blog for my opinions because they are different from hers. I do not name her, because I am not in the business of tit-for-tat, and quite frankly I’m not anxious to swell her readership.

To add insult to injury, she has missed the point. I am no longer in the business of selling the fruits of my hobby. I am not in competition with her or her fellow quilt professionals. My refusal to sell my work does not set false price expectations amongst potential buyers for the quilts of others. I do not sell quilts at all for any price. Instead, I give them away for love, for charity, for friendship, for celebration and in appreciation. They are gifts. Sometimes, the recipient pays for the fabric. Mostly not. Apparently this is wrong and I am devaluing the market for her and others of her ilk who earn a living making quilts. I should charge, whatever the context. The Quilt Police are among us….

I know that the world of blogging is filled with people who have no manners, but wouldn’t it have been better if she’d commented on my blog, mentioned that she disagreed with my points and said that she was planning to write a post of her own responding to mine?  To make her comments personal and directed at me by name without any notification seems disrespectful in the extreme.

I think what I find most painful is being accused of perpetuating and hiding behind “a corrosive lie”(her words), which is that I don’t need the money. I truly don’t need to make money from friends, family and deserving causes. I am accused of “making myself sound fortunate” because I don’t need to make a living from my quilts. I am fortunate, but why is this something to be ashamed of? This is not the career I have chosen for my life’s work. I do not need to be businesslike, or realistic. This is merely my joy, my interest, my passion in chief amongst many passions… It’s like condemning hobby woodworkers because they give their grandchildren wooden toys without charging a ‘realistic’ price and making life hard for ‘real’ woodworkers who earn a living at it.

I did not know her post was there so I had no opportunity to respond. And today, reading her rather sarcastic attack directed at me personally hurt, quite a lot, like being struck from behind by an unseen assailant.

I hope she is satisfied with herself and her actions. She certainly got her point across, but did it have to be at the cost of causing pain to a complete stranger, who has no possible impact on her potential customer base, in another country far, far away…?

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93 thoughts on “If you’re not for us, you’re against us…

  1. Anlina says:

    So easy, it is, to hide behind technology and say things you would not say to someone’s face. Cowardly and cruel. You have vented (rightly so), now dismiss this nonsense and give this person no more of your time or worries!

  2. So sorry to hear this. We do expose ourselves when we blog, but it does hit hard when someone behaves like that. I have no idea why anyone would feel threatened by your approach. You make GIFTS – it doesn’t matter whether they are quilts or hankies or wonderful tool rolls for us fortunate recipients – they are gifts. No one has a right to tell you that it is wrong to give a gift, whether made by your own hands or bought with your own money.
    PAH! I’m cross now!

    • katechiconi says:

      The worst of it is, I have great sympathy with her position, but I am disgusted by her way of making a point at my expense and with such bad manners…

    • katechiconi says:

      What’s worse is that she’s using my text without permission. I have stated on my Fine Print page that all images and text are copyrighted to me, and while I know people ‘borrow’ images all the time I find myself quite resentful that she’s infringed my copyright to attack me!

      • Send her an invoice. If someone uses another’s words, they are entitled to payment. If they failed to negotiate permission and a price in advance, that is tough titties. (I know you would never sink to revenge, but fantasising about it is ok.)

      • katechiconi says:

        And what a great fantasy it makes. A nice detailed invoice, listing all the incidentals used in the crafting of the blog, too, just to make sure I’m fairly compensated for my labour….

  3. claire93 says:

    I know it’s easy for me to say, but don’t let whoever it is get to you. I found your article very thought provoking, and I didn’t feel at all that you were preaching, or pretending that your opinion was the only opinion. You expressed your thoughts and convictions, and readers were free to comment. Anyone who follows your blog knows what love and care you put into your crafts. And even if this person does have a large following, I doubt you would want the kind of attention she gets anyway.
    So wipe those tears, blow your nose, and keep on with your blogging and quilting. Nasty people are best ignored.

  4. mdlonnie says:

    How rude! Reminds me of the school yard bullies. I understand it would be difficult to read such tripe, but WE all know your true life values and treasure them! Be true to yourself and carry on!

  5. kymlucas says:

    There’s a word for people like that but I try not to use it on the internet. You’re right; she’s wrong, and unfortunately unless you want to start a flame war, you’ll end up having to take comfort in that.

    • katechiconi says:

      I’m not interested in escalating, confronting her personally or ‘having it out’ in any way. But I do feel better for having aired the pain it caused, and responses so far make me feel justified in doing so.

      • kymlucas says:

        I think you aired your feelings in a very classy way. 🙂

      • katechiconi says:

        Thank you. It has become quite clear that she misunderstood what my post was about and what my position actually is regarding pricing quilting, and had she entered into debate with me instead of getting so hot under the collar, all of that would have emerged very quickly. So I suppose there’s a lesson there for all of us….

  6. Your attacker has grossly overdone her actions, in defiance of decent netiquette, but don’t give her the satisfaction of showing she’s got under your skin. We know you for a kind, generous quilter/blogger, and respect you for it.

    • katechiconi says:

      Thank you Viv, I value your appreciation very highly. The sad thing is, I don’t think she realises the pain she’s caused, she’s merely using me as a tool to make a point and show how wrong I am and how right she is… As I said in the title, if I’m not with her, I must be against her. There is no middle way.

  7. I am so sorry this has happened to you and somebody used your text like this. You have not had a chance to respond and interact like in a debate. What you are describing sound like an attack. We all have the right to an opinion, but not the right to put another down!
    Like the others have already said: please don’t let this person, whoever she is, get your energy! Give that to the people who you love!
    Hugs!
    Esther

  8. Jen says:

    Chin up Mrs… One word for people like that… Karma… I’m a firm believer… Keep doing what you do we all love you for it xxxxx

  9. Lucy Mustoe says:

    Kate, Everyone who reads your blog can see that passion not commerce drives you. Having looked over the responses to her post quite a few other people share your views & have made the point that it’s just plain rude of her to quote you in this way – however she feels. I bet everyone of those servicemen & women is grateful for the time you donated to make them a lovely quilt. Please dry your tears & dismiss this graceless woman. She’s not worth it.

    • katechiconi says:

      I don’t dismiss her, because she has a valid point, and performs a useful job in the service of all those who try to make a living from their quilting activities. But the way she did it was rude and careless, and she’s actually infringed my text copyright. And since I once made a living from words when I was a copywriter, I know that they have a commercial value, and she is being a hypocrite because she has assumed they are worth nothing… It’s OK to steal words, apparently, but not to give gifts.

  10. Magpie Sue says:

    Wow. I’m so sorry you had to endure being stabbed in the back in this way. It sounds completely unjustified, not to mention downright rude. I’m glad you didn’t mention the offender’s name or blog. Hopefully the more reasonable, intelligent individuals among her readers will recognize her desperation for what it is and perhaps quit following her altogether. It’s gonna hurt for a while, no doubt, but you have taken the higher road and are to be commended for that. You have the support of all those who know and love you – or who recognize your worth from the way you’ve handled this incident.

    • katechiconi says:

      She’s very well regarded, and her thoughts on being properly paid for quilting are valid and worth reading. I don’t quite understand why having an opinion about the value I place on my quilts, and why, should justify her ransacking my blog and taking chunks of text without consultation, but I don’t suppose she sees it that way, merely as a tool to refute what she regards as a faulty viewpoint. I only wish she’d shown more respect and given some consideration to the impact her post might have on me as a person.

  11. Kim says:

    Ugh, I’m so sorry this happened to you. You are an inspiration for all that you do and you should not be maligned. I feel the joy that you get from your beautiful quilts, gifts, handwork, etc., and it inspires me to do some of my own. I have done quilts for others for pay, tho very few. Usually, I make for gifts or just because… Big hug from Texas and phffft on the thief of your words.

    • katechiconi says:

      Perhaps maligned is the wrong words, but I certainly feel I have been held up for ridicule and have been patronised, and that at the very least, she’s shown discourtesy.

    • katechiconi says:

      Was that you over there? Making all those lovely points? If so, I especially liked the copyright infringement one… It strikes me as very hypocritical to assume that words someone has spent time crafting have no value and therefore it’s OK just to take them and use them as you will… Not really assigning true value to someone’s work, eh?

  12. Deairdre Miller says:

    Oh my! You definitely have my sympathy. I make quilts to sell and quilts to give and have never felt I was ‘devaluing’ myself. I would never presume to accuse someone for giving a gift.
    I greatly enjoy you blog and hope this doesn’t deter you from sharing your activities.
    Didi.

    • katechiconi says:

      No, it’s not going to stop me doing exactly what I’ve always done, and holding the same opinions I’ve always held. I can’t make myself responsible for the actions of others, and I refuse to let this bother me. I’m glad you enjoy my blog, and hope you’ll continue to visit often. K xx

  13. So sorry Kate. But I bet she will not understand what she did was wrong and hurt you. Looks like she will only see her side and not consider anyone else’s. Keep being the kind and giving person you are.

    • katechiconi says:

      I think you’re probably right. She is a person who has taken on a crusade to win better payment for those who quilt professionally. This is estimable and I applaud it. What I didn’t enjoy was being a casualty of her campaign without much justification that I can see. But I wish her success in her goal and hope she will be gentler with others who differ from her in the future.

  14. Wendy from NY says:

    I started reading your blog from your comments on AKitchensGarden. You seemed so interested in everyone else, and so kind. And the fact that you do write so well. I know nothing about sewing and even less about quilting, but am very impressed by your abilities and the amazing pieces you create. (and your amazing plants!). For some one to attack a person like you in such a cowardly way, for stating what you believe, just shows what a sorry person they are. I sincerely hope she lost a good portion of her following. Don’t let her steal any more of your time or energy! She is not worth it.

    • katechiconi says:

      I don’t wish her bad things, I’m sure she’s a decent person doing her best in this harsh world. I do wish she would say that she regrets the pain she caused because of lack of thought. I really don’t want her to change her opinions about quilters getting properly paid, I’d just like her to choose her targets more carefully and appropriately in future, and show better blogging manners. Thank you for taking the time to respond, and do keep visiting Chiconia!

  15. EllaDee says:

    I have tears in my eyes as I read this post. We are part of a lovely community and circle of virtual friends, and for someone to attack you anonymously or otherwise, breaches that as well as copyright.
    You can report it to https://wordpress.com/abuse/ and there is also a complaints process – same URL just substitute the word abuse with complaints (if I include both URLs in full, my comment will likely end up in your Spam folder).
    The person in question needs to be very aware that they have transgressed and you have remedial options available to you.
    Or you can choose not to, and simply take comfort in the joy you have in life and giving and blogging and friendships.
    “I give them away for love, for charity, for friendship, for celebration and in appreciation.” You cannot put a dollar value to that 🙂

    • katechiconi says:

      Thank you for your friendship and fellow feeling, I’ve been so touched by the wave of support I’ve received from everyone. There will of course be those who agree with her, and I may lose some followers, but to be honest, I’d rather surround myself with people who feel and think as I do, or at least, not so differently as to cause dissent. I have no intention of reporting her; I don’t think the attack was nearly serious enough to warrant such drastic action. It was much more the shock of being brought to task behind my back by a total stranger who didn’t have the manners to let me know! I shall leave her to her self-satisfaction and sense of virtue and superiority over those of us who ‘do the wrong thing’ by our sewing brothers and sisters…

  16. I am fortunate too. (Ok, so I am a spoiled trophy wife! :)) What a crime!
    I think you and I work on similar values. I give to friends and causes I like and deliberately do not sell so I can never set a price that undermines another’s need to make a living. It is people like us who buy the patterns, etc., of people like them. Great woodworking example.
    Perhaps the blogger who will not be named had a knee-jerk reaction and failed to read properly.

    • katechiconi says:

      I think you and I are very much alike in our thoughts, process and approach to our work. I don’t need to compete. I don’t need to sell, I can do it for the joy of it. She has chosen to make it her career, but I don’t think she should resent my small output because I don’t do it her way. I fear someone who reads this blog has taken my comments amiss and sent a link to her. I’m sad if that’s so, but my point about good manners remains, aside from the rights and wrongs of our respective opinions. As indeed does my point about my ownership of my copy. I believe it illustrates a point she herself complained of in someone else’s behaviour…. 🙂

  17. pattisj says:

    I’m sorry to hear this happened to you. Is this person on WordPress?

    Info from WP help page:
    Content Theft – What to Do
    Bloggers often have their content unlawfully copied and reproduced without permission. We understand the value of intellectual property, and will take immediate action to ensure your rights are protected should the culprit be a site hosted on WordPress.com. However, if the subject of the complaint is on a website hosted elsewhere, we will be unable […]

    If not a WordPress blog, maybe their blog platform has a similar arrangement.

    • katechiconi says:

      I’m so grateful for your thoughtful information, but I don’t want to escalate an already unpleasant situation. I’m not entirely sure who the blog host is, since it’s a .com site, not a .wordpress.com site, and even if I did know, I am unlikely to progress this matter unless there is a backlash from my post. I will be monitoring the situation. Thank you again, and do keep visiting Chiconia, where the opinions will hopefully not always be so controversial!

  18. lucyannluna says:

    Sorry to hear you have been attacked in this way. I always tell the girls I teach if you would not say it to the persons face or in front of your mum/nan is is probably best not said in public.
    Like you mum & I give things to friends or make for charity. However, what pains me the most is when people expect you to make them something for nothing or very little ( because you like it). Not thinking that you purchased the material & lovingly made it.
    A couple of years ago I gave some yarn to a lady in our bowls club to make stuff to sell in aid of the club, & she sold the items at a ridiculously low price that did not cover the price of the yarn ( this was cheap yarn in the first place) because the yarn was donated! it annoyed me. Even though she has asked if I have any spare yarn I have never given her any more.
    The difference is that you give your work & time to people who will appreciate it, not those who will exploit us( for being nice)
    Pricing is a very motive issue & we all need to respect each other’s ideas especially that lady who attacked you.
    Just try to forget about her ( this is hard I know)
    Hugs
    LucyAnn & Luna ( who sends you a waggy tail & lots of licks)

    • katechiconi says:

      Your reaction is exactly why this woman is so strongly in favour of being paid fairly. And I agree! But again, you’re right, it’s an issue of respecting each other: opinions and intellectual property in her case. Thank Luna for the doggy kiss for me, please!

      • lucyannluna says:

        It’s also a case of sometimes selling something at a price the other person can afford because they will appreciate it. We have a culture around here where home made is stub standard , & therefore worthless, another & even more motive issue.
        On a positive note just thinking of finishing off the jewellery I’ve made for one of my lab techs, before I go back to school tomorrow.
        You have a good day now.

      • katechiconi says:

        And you have a creative evening! Thank you for joining the debate.

  19. tialys says:

    Whilst I have sympathy for the position this other blogger takes on the value of quilts and other handcrafted items it is a fact of life that one will only get what somebody else is willing to pay. She says you are fortunate to be in a position to be ‘altruistic’ but I would say that, if she can afford to wait until she finds somebody willing to pay top dollar for one of her quilts then she is not as unfortunate as all that. I’m not saying for one moment that her work is not worth what she wants to charge, neither am I saying that she shouldn’t ask for the full value, but I am saying that not everybody has access to U.S. fabric prices, longarm quilting machines and a wealthy customer base. How many people, really, are willing or able to pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars for a quilt? It seems to me the biggest winners are the suppliers of the materials we need to make them in the first place.
    I do agree, however, that putting good quality quilts out there in the marketplace at prices that undervalue the quilt, is not a good long term strategy but quilting is an expensive hobby and I can understand why some people need to recoup the cost of materials in order to carry on doing what they love. Why should they be judged harshly? After all, plenty of other competition exists in high street stores and online venues. Yes, it would be good if people can be educated in the true cost of a quilt but, even if they are, the vast majority still couldn’t, or wouldn’t want to pay.
    However, you never said you were doing that. In fact, by saying you no longer wanted to sell your quilts at prices you weren’t happy with and only giving as gifts, it seems to me you are in agreement with her basic tenet in any case.
    A tricky and emotive topic but the main problem for me is her use of your words without prior consultation or permission and, despite my comment on her blog mentioning this, she chose not to address that particular point in her response.
    Sorry, I appear to have written a blog post myself!! Try to put this behind you, wallow in all your support and have a huge piece of cake.
    x

    • katechiconi says:

      Yes, yes, and yes again. I think that’s also my main beef with her. Stealing my words to use against me…. She is making the assumption that they have no value and therefore she holds them cheap. The very complaint she makes against buyers of quilts…
      And I’m having a huge piece of chocolate caramel shortbread later, and will be posting the recipe tomorrow for my fellow caramelaholics….

  20. Carole says:

    I think the other commenters have pretty much said it all, but I did want to say how sorry I am that someone has done this to you, and that you have my support and friendship 🙂

    • katechiconi says:

      Carole, that’s extremely kind of you, and I value very highly all the friends I’ve made through WordPress. It’s a great forum for good, as well as harbouring the occasional person who can’t see her own shortcomings because she’s so busy holding up a mirror to others…. See you at the next SAL, if not before!

  21. I think everyone else has got my responses covered! The world is full of arseholes, my dear, who think they are wonderful, and there are many other arseholes who think the other arseholes are wonderful, too. We end up with a lot of even bigger arseholes. My advice – ignore the arseholes. Take their nonsense from whence it comes. And, yeah, that karma thing – 🙂 xxx

  22. Nanette says:

    Since I’ve come late…and maybe last….to this conversation, and a lot of good words have been said….*great big flappy arseholes* hmm, must remember that for my next argument, it beats ‘whatever’…..I’m sorry this has happened to you and am right behind you Kate. This person’s rudeness gives you much to be justifiably enraged about, but she is one and we are many. I hope the chocolate caramel shortbread has done it’s job and you’re feeling better and no longer bothering your head.

    • katechiconi says:

      The chocolate caramel shortbread is doing its job beautifully, thanks. To the extent that I plan to post the recipe for this sovereign remedy tomorrow, in case anyone else has something bothering them…!

  23. Oh,Kate! I’m so sorry this has happened to you, but her comments say so much more about her than they do about you. Your response has been eloquent and to the point, and now–it’s over and move on. I agree with many of the points you made in your original post and I’m in pretty much the same position. Most of my quilts are gifts for friends, family and charities as well, and I do not make my living from my hobby, it’s just ‘what I do.’ Keep on keeping on!

  24. rutigt says:

    I DO, totally, agree with you. It makes me so angry and sorrow when people attack each other. Why can´t people be friendly and let everyone have there own opinions or if they disagree, discuss it in friendly ways.
    Gun

    • katechiconi says:

      I agree, Gun, and the sad thing is that blogs give us a forum to talk to each other and express ourselves, but some people use them as a way of ‘scoring one’ on other people. I have decided not to think about it any more unless I have to. People cannot hurt your feelings unless you allow them to… And I don’t allow it.

  25. lovelucie1 says:

    Fully in support of you and everything said above. xx

  26. Kirsten says:

    This is the trouble with the old inter webs – anyone and everyone can say what they want without thinking and – with what they believe to be – no retribution. I think it is time more people thought about Thumper’s mother in Bambi : “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”.
    Sorry to hear you have been the brunt of someone else’s rant, sending you a hug through the ether.
    Having skimmed through the other comments (flappy arseholes did catch my attention, needless to say), whether she is well regarded or not, I can’t help getting the feeling that what is really at the centre of all this is that she somehow resents the fact that she makes a living from making quilts, and that for her, there is no longer any joy or love in it. Whereas you get to make them for exactly those reasons. 100% her problem, not yours, as you know. xx

    • katechiconi says:

      The thing is, no-one is forcing her to do this as a job. She wants to. But then she also wants to moan that those of us who do it for the love of the thing are making life hard for her. Well, I’m sorry, but it’s not my job to make life easier for her. I reserve the right to creative freedom to make what I like, how I like, when, where and for whom I like, at the cost or no cost I like. She has no right to attack me, just as she had no right to take and use copy I had spent a long time composing. My words have worth, and are worthy of respect. She has treated them as valueless except as a tool with which to attack my opinions. This is very hypocritical behaviour. End of mini-rant. Thank you for your support! XXX

  27. Jule says:

    Like in that old song, ‘She ain’t got no style, she ain’t got no class’ – I read your post this morning and it made my blood boil so I decided to come back later. I agree with Kirsten’s last paragraph, that’s what came to my mind too (not having read the quilter’s post, so I can only assume). Everyone’s free to do with their stuff whatever they like – sell for any price they find apt, give it to someone, or like me, keep it. There’s no right or wrong about it. It’s only wrong to use or take other people’s property without their consent. *great big flappy arseholes* wise words from a wise lady. 😀

  28. Conor Bofin says:

    Kate, take heart in the fact that what you are doing is the right thing. It’s very easy to hide behind a keyboard and insult all and sundry. It’s less easy and ultimately far more rewarding to do the right thing with an open attitude and a happy heart. Or, “stupid cow, what’s she on?”
    Chin up.
    Best,
    Conor

    • katechiconi says:

      The woman’s entitled to her opinion, (even if she has got hold of the wrong end of the stick about my post) but seems to have a very casual attitude to copyright. Have you ever had someone extract chunks out of a post and use them without permission? I’m not talking about reblogging, just lifting text. I specifically state on my blog that text and images are copyrighted to me unless otherwise stated. Still angry, but no longer miserable…!

      • Conor Bofin says:

        They steal my photos a fair bit. Text less often. That’s more of a reflection on my text. Don’t be angry. She’s not worth it. Perhaps post a comment on her post directing people here. Perhaps not worth giving her the oxygen of publicity.

      • katechiconi says:

        The latter, I think. Her responses to people who have defended me have been a little bit harsh in tone, and I have no intention of escalating things. Nor, I think, would she permit any comment of mine to remain up if it directed people here, since my opinions do not support her case! Thank you for the advice.

  29. knettycraft says:

    Hi Kate… First I didn’t want to comment because sometimes I’m not able to express what I want to say in a sophisticated way in English. Only this: I couldn’t stop searching for the original post… and – yes, I’m speechless about her crude behaviour (wow… many of the translations for “crude” express what I want to call her). And in which way she is hostile to those who criticize her in the comments… unbelievable! I think she should take entrance fee for her blog or put a warning above that only compliant opinions are welcome. Don’t get angry… she seems to be completely eaten by anger which cause her polemical speech I suppose. And be sure – all people who are reading your blog regularly wouldn’t have misunderstood your words. Annett XX

    • katechiconi says:

      Dear Annett, thank you so much for your support and understanding of what I’m trying to say. I’m just sad because she has so completely failed to understand that I’m not speaking for those who want to sell their quilts, I’m trying to find some peace with the fact that a monetary value for our quilts is unrealistic because we put so much love and work into them. If I wanted to sell my work, I would produce very different quilts, without the hours of thinking about the recipient, and stitching my love for them into the fabric. It’s time to move on and forget her. She has not understood, and I suspect she never will…

  30. Michele Shea says:

    Unfortunately in this world that we now live in anyone with a computer and an opinion feels they have the right to criticise without having to face the object of their critique. Keep doing what you’re doing, you don’t have to explain your motivation to anyone. P.S I find your blog highly entertaining. Keep up the good work.😊👍

    • katechiconi says:

      Thank you, that’s very kind. I’m actually quite surprised that she felt the need to single out my blog for such a heavy put down; I don’t court publicity, my circle of followers only very marginally overlaps hers and my thoughts and opinions really shouldn’t be of any concern to her. However, she has said her piece, I’ve said mine, and I’m content with the fact that many, many people agree with me!

  31. mlwilkie says:

    That sounds like just a horrible experience. I am so sorry for you and it saddens me people can be so judgmental.

    • katechiconi says:

      I think it’s a lesson in reading carefully, and looking at the bigger picture before you launch on an emphatic rebuttal. And finally, waiting and considering not once but twice before you publish a post in which you have named and blamed…
      I believe in her cause, but she has lost my sympathy because she attacked the wrong target and was not open to voices which suggested that her attack was not appropriate.

  32. Spanner says:

    Kate, nicely put and even nicerly ( I love made up words) restrained from going in and biting HER head off which is what most of us would instinctively do.

  33. […] NOTE: if you have read this post, please consider also viewing a follow-up, here. […]

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