Instruments of torture

Have you ever noticed the dumb animosity of supposedly inanimate objects, especially the ones you use a lot?

The serial offender, my sewing machine, chugging away and making wonky lines ON PURPOSE

The serial offender, my sewing machine, chugging away and making wonky lines ON PURPOSE

My sewing room is full of these evil creatures.  Prime offender is the sewing machine, which runs out of thread at critical moments, jams, breaks needles and lurches around the worktop, trailing its extension table behind it.  Don’t get me wrong. I love my sewing machine despite the narrowness of its throat.  It’s just that it fights back when I’m grumpy.  Another offender is my thread snips, a tiny pair of scissors which either disappears or gets stuck on my porky fingers so I can’t put it down. Then there’s the truly vicious quilting safety pins. Don’t get me started on those little buggers.  We’ve just replaced the former worst one.  The ironing board.  Let me set the scene for you….

My sewing room is not large, and it’s dominated by my large fabric cupboard, my bookshelves, which run the length of one wall, and the L-shaped arrangement of tables which holds my computer and printer, toolbox and sewing apparatus.  This leaves a space 1.5 x 2m of free space – some of which is taken up by the Husband’s ‘visiting throne’, for when he comes to supervise…  The ironing board has to fit in the remaining space, and as any quilter knows, putting a quilt together is a process of sew, sew, press, sew, sew, press, so the ironing board and iron have to stay out, and turned on. So, the ironing board. The old one was rickety, narrow, hard to put up and take down, and had a nasty habit of shaking off the hot steam iron if you so much as breathed at it wrong.  I don’t know how many times I’ve had to leap back to avoid said hot steam iron landing on my feet because of the bloody ironing board.  So I took a stand, and today, we went out and bought a large, stable, friendly ironing board, which doesn’t have hissy fits, doesn’t fall over, and is also large enough to be useful when you’re rolling up a quilt to make it small enough to fit under the sewing machine arm.  Pressing bliss….

Go the Pies is about a quarter quilted.  I’ve stabilised the centre section and done the longest lines.  Now I have to retire to the kitchen to make more cookies – the last batch seems to have unaccountably disappeared – and perhaps a cake or tart.  Anything rather than being thwarted, pricked, burned or trapped by my hostile sewing kit…

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